Voices in My Head

There are a number of vices that have plagued humanity from the beginning. Sung in tales and sagas since music was invented in the night of history—Macbeth’s ambition, Othello’s mistrust, Jack Sheppard’s obsession to fix everything but himself—that allowed stories to unfold and audiences to be moved and entertained. If I were to convert myself into the dramatic, I would have to give myself a flaw along the lines of Frankenstein, Nemo, or Faust, who possessed a desire for knowledge that fuels a self-destruction if unchecked. I hope that fictional me would be more like a Batman or Doc Savage, able to use that drive for good while keeping the self-destruction in check. Elijah Snow would be ideal, a man whose curiosity worked for the greater good. The real me’s flaw is much more minor, wanting to know more than I have time to consume.


As mentioned before I discovered that in 2010 I was infected with Anglophilism (?) And as any good imaginary medical doctor, I went off to investigate this flaw/ailment. After some unmedically sound thinking, I have come to conclude that the source of my unconscious desire for paper products of the Enchanted Isles of Britain are the podcasts I listen to.

If the Internet has provided anything to me is giving me on demand radio. There is much to be said for video/movies/television, but to get one’s head wrapped around something, nothing fits the bill more than a group of people chatting around a table somewhere, recording it and posting in on the web so they can be reheard via my headphone in a different time and space. My only exception would be a well written book.

Over the past year I have followed a number of podcasts on ideas. What I have found that the podcasts that engage me are American (Ted, Big Think, NPR, CSPAN, Entitled Opinions), Australian (ABC Radio, Clive James, Natalie Tran), and largely British (Guardian, BBC). The result is that most of the books I hear about are British (or ancient Europeans). So when I go looking for something read I end up reading Robbie Burns or some other bloke from the limey islands.

My lack of Canuck is sad, but I really have only two programs from Canada about books that I listen to— Writers and Company (which is really about international books anyways) and The Next Chapter (which I don’t really like the format). I also enjoy Allan Gregg and company, but it seems to have a short season as I go through them very quickly and find myself waiting for episodes. Also, there are British people on W&C and AG&C which sort of stops the flow of Canuck really.

There must be more than just the CBC, CPAC, and TVO doing long format radio discussions in Canada. I have attempted to Google and Bing for such topics. The problem is that I find one shots or very poor quality discussions. Any suggestions on where I can find Canadian idea/book talk content?

Dinner Rolls with Gender

    While imparting recipes for pudding with rice in it—which I assume was invented by the British except I'm not sure where they would have gotten the rice from historically…a search through Google has advised me that they got it from the Moors in Spain around the 10^th century. My universe makes sense again—my friend Becky lightly touched on a topic of gender. The main topic of discussion, if I understand her post, was that the smallness in "the context of domestic and quotidian detail" is more regularly associated with the feminine. In addition there were some comments from female commentators on Becky's post about the praise men receive for writing the domestic versus the expectation for women to comment on such things.

    I am always hesitant to get into a discussion of gender or expectations of writers as such discussion completely rub me the wrong way. When someone gives a statement that men behave in such and such way, I bristle. Generalizations of my person are quite annoying, universal rules rarely make sense if one includes the details of an individual's life. Yes, one can predict trends in large groups of people with sufficient hard analysis of statistics, but predicting the individual requires more data tags then their gender (and such exercised enter murky waters). Men comprise of 50% of the population, with a wide range of ages, races, educations, vocabularies, parents, residences, marital statuses, tastes, desires, wishes, and dreams. Even if you can predict behavior, the reason behind it can easily be obscured. The precautionary principle seems a better guide in such discussions.

How would I, as a reader, approach "domestic and quotidian detail?" Well if one holds that everyone is a novel (that one can't be summed up in a page but rather a 300-1000 pages of hard working prose), I would say that the context of the house work would matter. I enjoy history and find domestic matters from bygone eras fascinating for their exotic and arcane natures. This extends to foreign cultures as well. In more familiar waters, such domestic matters need to further the story; provide some insight into the character. If a writer invests page space to a male character's cleaning habits, it should build the story of the man. There are different ways to clean an apartment, build a piece of furniture, or grocery shop. How this is described could help to flesh out a character. I must confess a bit of eye rolling at how many male characters in novels are stereotypes when it comes to how they live alone (or interact) and I find myself generalizing that female author's don't understand men (then I remind myself that such things annoy me). There is always the possibility that the men they describe are based on the only men they have known (I am skeptical).

In the end, once my bristles have been combed down. I find myself agreeing with Becky:

 You have to write about what you care enough to write about, and it's the skill and sensitivity of the writer that makes the text "big" or "small."

I would only add that this applies to reading as well.

S

The Commuting Life –with Cars!!

    I have lived in Toronto almost 12 years now; the actual anniversary would be the end of this month I believe. Living in the spread out quilt of a city requires a commute for both work and pleasure. Even after all these years I find myself entering a fantasy where riding the subway is, somehow, cinematically exotic. My time reading the paper or a book, listening to music, or having a conversation is the material used for segue sequences in the documentary of my life (or rather the imaginary documentary of my life). The more practical element to the TTC is the personal time it gives me to consume books/paper/music etc. and most importantly to think. Also, there are headaches with public transit, but the fact that I don't have to touch any driving controls is a pleasure that never goes away.

    Last year, I won a month of free underground parking at my work. So, this month I have been packing up Z and heading out in the blue Jetta. The result has been the sad realization that when one works in Don Mills and lives Uptown, it is easier to use a car. I have only been late once this month (to Z's daycare and work). I'm generally less exhausted physically as there isn't the mad dash from train to train (which isn't only really a dash due to Z's large amounts of equipment). Once carbon offsets are purchased, my misgivings about the car are wholly selfish. I don't have that personal time from Z's daycare to work and back again. It was only twenty-thirty minutes each way, yet it was my time and I miss the decompression of the limbo only a train can offer. The car has also led to some unfortunate discoveries: That a good radio station is hard to find if it has to have music on it (for Z) as well as regular traffic updates; Many of these stations play the same group of songs and leave one pine for their celestial jukebox (if only an ipod could interject traffic updates); The realization I don't want to be part of an ocean of cars—as I said, completely selfish.

    Someone wise one's said that life is a compromise (or a series of compromises) and no choice is really ever settled, but a series of settling. At the end of the day, or rather each day, I have chosen to drive until the snow is gone (which I have optimistically believe will be the end of March). Then back underground I go. Until then, my quiet moments will have to be found elsewhere.

Sc

Essay – Tidying up 2010 Part Two

I seem to recall thinking to myself at the start of 2010 that I was going to break new ground for myself. That I was going to move in a bold new direction. The main thrust of this was to read what I normally don't read. Two main areas of newness was to be female writers and Canadian writers. A third minor resolution was to read more international fiction. Looking at my numbers apparently it was all good intentions:

Total # of books read: 55

By Type; 89% Fiction, 11% Non-Fiction

By Gender, 90% Male, 10% Female

Breakdown by country:

56% UK

16% USA

9% Canada

3% Germany

1% each of Korea, France, Greece, China, Portugal, Sweden

This is not very good really, especially if you add in the fact that I have broken my standing rule of one fiction then one non-fiction when choosing books. I am also quite embarrassed by the fact that my Canadian reading is below the US and for some reason in 2010 I was an Angophile (perhaps I should start drinking tea). The oddest thing is that the UK/US is really all a blur requiring deep thought to recall the volumes consumed, whereas most of the other countries I remember. I don't know if this is the law of statistics (more names are harder to remember than a fewer number of names) or if I have a knack for picking good international fiction.

In a more subjective sense, I actually impressed with many of my book choices in 2010. Of the four women writers I read this year, I was impressed with the two Oriental writers— Kyung Ran Jo (writer of the creepy novel TONGUE) and Xialou Guo (writer of the very dreamy TWENTY FRAGMENTS OF A RAVENOUS YOUTH). I might consider reading other works by them. My solo woman writer for non-fiction was Zadie Smith. Her collection of essays CHANGING MY MIND was quite informative and convinced me to give George Elliot a try this year.

In the collection of men from foreign shores again the non-UK/US stick out. I finally read "THE READER" which held up better to the hype then "BRIDA" did. 20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA felt like a children's classic I should have read long ago (I also had a proper translation). I have previously discussed my GIRL CRAZY experience and FRUIT was the other big Canadian Read I got into 2010, it was a very small book which threw me (apparently on top of being an Angophile, I'm addicted to epic) I'm still deciding whether it was the best book it could be or not. Probably one of the most enjoyable non-fiction books of the year was A READING DIARY by Alberto Manguel, he convinced me of several books to try as Zadie Smith had—although the INVENTION OF MOREL didn't quite live up to his review.

A couple of re-reads, the Doom Patrol cycle and the completed Planetary run. The Silmarillon was finally completed this year and was surprisingly easier to read then I remember from the last time I failed to read it. The other "finally finished" book this year was James Wood's HOW FICTION WORKS, which unlike Tolkien's tome was never finished due to the circumstances beyond the book's control. It was quite good, if a bit didactic.

I was on a James Bond kick this year, mostly get to them out of my house and returned to a friend of mine. After getting through the boxed set, I was surprised to learn that the books I liked were not the ones he or any of my friends enjoyed. My top favorites were FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE and THE SPY WHO LOVED ME. It appears I am drawn to the unconventional in my conventional thrillers. What was striking about the series as a whole is how mundane they seemed. I won't go as far as to say realistic, but there is breathing room in the stories, people have months to heal in some cases and plot move at a slower pace. It is quite a different feeling from the adrenaline superhero thrillers of today. I prefer the novels, but it really isn't a fair comparison as the movies are a completely different beast.

Finally this was the year I started a book club (250 pages or less) and I must say that it has been quite enjoyable and without it I don't think I would have Read THE TURN OF THE SCREW by Henry James. It was a rough experience for me but it was probably one of the best challenges to me this year in my reading. A penultimate book of manipulation making a very creepy ghost story (or psychological horror story if you prefer), it left me with a lot to think about and I find myself thinking about it every so often. Just yesterday I was considering rereading it. I'm a glutton for punishment. J

So what was the biggest surprise this year? THE CITY AND THE CITY by China Mieville. It was an amazing book which would be my number one recommendation. I weird story of two cities that exist in the same place, a book you just have to read. I smiled most of the time while reading it (a similar smile that INVISIBLE CITIES, ON A NIGHT A WINTER TRAVELLER, and ONCE)

Now, 2010 is properly filed, it is time to look forward. Since 2011 began I have seen a number of reader challenge's kicking around. I am horrible at giving myself exact books to read so I will try to stick to general principles.

1. Read more female writers; let's target 30%
   
2. Read more non-fiction; get back to 40-50%
   
3. Read more Canadian fiction; 30% again
   

That said, I do hope to tackle a couple big books this year. WAR AND PEACE, THE BIBLE, THE ODYSSEY and MIDDLEMARCH are under consideration. Mostly I want to work through all the gifts and borrowed books that litter my shelves. Otherwise, I will play it by ear.

Wish me luck!

Essay: Tidying up 2010 – Part one

    I can't verify that this occurs to everyone, but there is a point in the New Year where one begins to wonder if they have gotten off on the wrong foot. An early goal has been let in already putting you behind, a sense that perhaps your strategy isn't applicable to the situation a hand, or that you have brought the wrong clothes for your holiday. It is perhaps an irrational feeling (as, one could argue, the whole measurement of one's achievement by calendar year or any year is for that matter), but it plagues one all the same. I suppose one could use it as a barometer of your mental state by the proximity to New Year's you get this feeling. Mid-February and the patient gets a pat on the back versus January 3^rd gets you a shakes from the heads of a panel of medical experts. This year, the feeling has come quite early; with the caveat that perhaps it was due to circumstances beyond my control. It is a shaky caveat as we live in a century where self-determination is as strong as the belief in fate, as though you have the Stephen Convey in a fist fight with Neil Gaiman's Destiny. The question of the 21^st century is whether your state is your fault or the world's fault (as they didn't answer it in the last century).

    December 2010 had considerable promise, but two events conspired against me. The first was illness. There is an irony that for a year where I had been considerably healthy that I should get quite sick when asked by the reverb project (which populated the blog for most of December) what major healing I had done this year. The upshot is that I can discuss what the major healing was (getting for 3 colds in a row-bleck) but it does not seem to weigh up to the down shot. The other event was the lack of Internet access at home. S isn't as concerned about it, but I believe she doesn't have the same relationship with the Interwebs as I do (probably a healthier one, truth be told). The main annoyance with the situation was this blog. I find that writing anything for blog tends to be a nightly affair for me (or put another way, it takes most of the day for me to formulate my thoughts)—so no working modem, no post. Of course one can easily point out that I could have typed by the posts at night and then sneaker network them to work where I could quickly post them, but let's not confuse the issue with facts.

    At the end of this rambling, I sit in my computer chair at home, not sick and with a working modem. Right, the first order of business to wrap up the past year (as I am one of those fool's you mark their achievements on the calendar year). The first is a big of house cleaning; which will be done in the form of a lightning round. The Reverb prompts:

www.reverb10.com (the remaining prompts)

December 19^th – Healing: As I have already mentioned, I had 3 colds in a row which is not cool.

December 20^th —Beyond Avoidance: A tie between learning how to use my camera and making a web comic. I am taking a digital photography course which I'm really enjoying, so I'm halfway there.

December 21^st — Good lord, I hope that my future self would have the sense to provide useful, mundane information like, the toilet is going to break if you don't get it fixed now, or what ailments my family members and friends have than can be prevented if got early enough, what books not to read, what show not to watch etc. I know that present me would be annoyed if future me was all new agey or cryptic (that would go for past me if I was going to meet him. Although past me would be very excited that I'm married and have a kid; hopeless romantic that he is).

December 22^nd—Didn't go anywhere but we are planning a couple trips for the end of this year into next year. I think they are mostly to warm destinations, but I do need to get to Japan with my brother at some point.

December 23^rd —If Science fiction has taught me anything, I am one of an infinite number of Scott Watsons in the Multi-verse. I wear this name with pride. J

December 24^th— The moment when I figure something complicated out. It makes one think that you're smart which almost ties the feeling of being loved. How to incorporate into 2011? Keep learning.

December 25^th—Er…due to my tendency not to use my digital camera, I don't think I have one. Most of the pictures taken this year were of or with baby Z. I will have to fix this for next year (see comment on digital course above).

December 26^th — I try a lot of new food, as S is a vegetarian and I like to cook. Also, I have a rather empirical view of food. I see it as a craft than an art. So I don't really have a soul food just a lot of experiment experiences.

December 27^th — reading a book, listening to an interesting podcast.

December 28^th —write a novel/collection of short stories. It would be a freeing accomplishment.

December 29^th — I will be busier at work as I get more responsibilities and baby Z will present new challenges as she gets older.

December 30^th — Digital photography course and my Kobo reader.

December 31^st— There is a lot going on in my head, an ocean of stories (a sea of them perhaps?) and what I would like to do is mix it with the world. Art seems to be the route to do it. I just need to work out the balance of observing the world and observing myself.

There we go. I must confess that I don't think this lightning round is in the spirit of the reverb, but I would also argue that the reverb project of a daily complex question kind of goes against the concept of deep personal thought to begin with. I feel that perhaps a more serious approach (a lengthy mediation, hard reading, etc.) would have brought me closer to the desired result.

Right Part one done, next post will be a wrap up of my reading journal.